Tuesday, May 18, 2010


I haven't made it public knowledge yet but I realize that by putting something on the Internet it is instantly public knowledge. What am I talking about? I've been offered a job with Outward Bound in the Florida/Alabama area. This would be a very enjoyable job but also a sizable pay cut. It's not like I'm making that much to begin with. I can't even afford to have an apartment right now. Everything I make gets tunneled into gas, food, and primarily student loans. By taking the new job I can realistically expect to get out of debt in 25 years. Not what I want to see happen. However, I have another option. On this other route it would only take me up to 5 years to pay off my debt and I could still afford to have my own place. The downside is I don't want the job. It's very stressful, limiting, and unfulfilling (at least for me). Could I last in an environment like this long enough for the benefit of being free from debt with any chance of former passion still intact? I'm being dramatic now. I hate big decisions. I want to do the right thing for me. I'm not even trying to be selfless this time, it's about me and my future.

I found something today while I was cleaning up from Christmas season 2008. I wrote on a church bulletin "Who doesn't trust in this $? Who doesn't work for $ so they can provide for themselves shelter, food, coverings, pleasures. No we make lifestyle choices because our faith is in $, not God. St. Francis woke up & realized that our lies are held captive to $. He gave wealth away & set his life to serve the poor and trusted God would sustain his life w/out $."

Thinking and praying, thinking and praying....

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