Thursday, October 30, 2008

the latest

As is my usual, it's been a while since I've written in this place.
I've been a lot of places and seen a lot of people since my last entry. Today I started listening to the audio book, "Eat, Pray, Love" one of my favorites from the reading spree I took while in Rio. I'll be driving up to Kansas City tomorrow and the book should keep me entertained well. I love the story and her soul journey. She gives vocab to some of my experiences and she even has a bit of drama surrounding a David.
I've been on a bit of a soul journey myself beginning about a month ago while in Venezuela visiting the InnerCHANGE folks. In such a spiritually influenced place God's voice was impossible to ignore on a few specific instances. I was awakened to a new reality in the world, or at least a better understanding of a reality and then I was blessed in a unique way. But after a short visit of ten days I returned to face the storm that generally awaits a young adult returning after years of absence to her childhood hometown. Many people have welcomed me back with open arms, even people whom I didn't expect.
But even if I have received a warm welcome I still do not have friends. Maybe I have two friends but one is married and one causes me such great anxiety I would rather not go there most of the time regardless of how lonely I find myself. The goal at this point is either to make a new friend whom I have no previous history with and whom I do not work with OR to come to such a place of peace and inner joy that I can be completely content coming home to my empty and quiet apartment and being alone.
I do not like being alone or not doing anything. Hence going out of town to KC when all I have off is 2 1/2 days because I cannot bear the thought of sitting at home not doing anything for that long. I'm even leaving Lubbock for the Tech/Texas game. It's a big game this year as everyone I'm sure already knows. I don't have the money to leave either but I'm looking forward to seeing my friends from this summer.
Work is going well and the back is doing better day by day. So well in fact that I probably will not be able to have a surgery before leaving for Venezuela sometime in the upcoming months. Either way, I feel glad to be playing football and soccer with the residents and have even tried running a few times but max out in strength at about 3 miles.
This was a fairly useless blog posting I guess. Just a bit of an update as to where I am and what's more or less going on in my life. Expect photos to appear as I've gotten a new camera and have gone for nature walks through the concrete jungle that is home. Some have turned out pretty good. But I'll let you be the judge.

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