It's getting harder. I don't know if I can willingly complete this experiment. Why? Mostly because food is so accessible and it's such a deep rooted habit. This week I'm learning about self-control.
I rationalize my need for more food by my lifestyle, which might make since but also maybe that means instead I should take control of my life.
On average my day begins at 8:30 and ends around midnight. I wake up after 2 or 3 alarms, beginning already behind schedule and go to sleep feeling like I didn't get enough done. And usually I have to drag myself to bed after reading long past the concentration/comprehension point.
On a good day I get around 1000 calories. On a bad day I only get around 700. On average I probably walk 5 miles a day. Char helped me understand that most likely the majority of the recipients of this food work hard but they spread out the work over a period of time and take sufficient rest.
I had expected to work-out and eat nothing but soup for 4 months. Now I'm not working-out, eating bread and peanut butter in conjunction with soup and eating out with friends 1 meal a week.
So I feel like a cheater or a failure. I feel like I don't have any self-control. I need to stop and remember what the purpose is. This is not a scientific study to see conclusively what this food does to the body. It is instead intended to be a central focus in my life for this period. I am doing this to learn and also to educate others. I desire to be a voice and also to prepare myself for future and present service.
*written a few hours later*
I did go and work-out today. I ran 2 1/2 miles. It wasn't much. I had a banana and green tea for breakfast. I had a piece of bread during class. And then I tried to eat my soup after running and I just can't get much of it down right now. I've been in a rut most of this past week unable to even force feed myself the stuff. I prefer a piece of bread and a banana or nothing at all to the soup. Oh well, such is the life for many. They don't have the huge food options that we have. But if I didn't have the options available would I better be able to eat the same thing for so long? I haven't weighed in yet today and most likely wont. Let just see where I'm at at the next weekly posting. It's not about the weight anyway. But as a side observational note, my ring doesn't fit the finger I've always worn it on anymore. It kept falling off so now I'm wearing it on my fattest finger and see how long that lasts. I think it's going to fall off of that finger soon as well.