You Know You're From Amarillo When...
Rainfall is measured in hundredths of inches
An inch of rain causes streets to flood but it takes a foot of snow to close schools
People are happy if a picnic gets rained out
You've seen rain, sleet, snow and thunder all in the same storm
You consider plutonium to be good thing
You prefer to haul drinking water rather than drink tap water
You tell people you live in the tan brick house with a tan roof and attached two-car garage, and then realize that describes every house within a 2-mile radius
You can see a million stars at night from your patio
You've never seen smog
You know the soil temperature on any given day but can't recall what you had for breakfast
You've had to pull over and remove tumbleweeds from the grill of your car
You've canceled many golf games because of rain
Vacation means a weekend trip to Santa Fe
You can lose your purse and a total stranger will returns it
You actually get these jokes and pass them on to other friends from Amarillo.
You Know You're From Abilene When...
You have ever taken a girl to "look" at the blue lights by the airport.
Meeting a celebrity" means standing in line at the Olive Garden next to the local weatherman.
Your idea of a traffic jam is ten cars waiting to pass a camper on the Winters Freeway.
"Vacation" means driving to Dallas.
You have seen the "Anson Lights" and they scared the hell out of you!
You think one of the major food groups is Taco Bueno.
You think that opening weekend for dove and deer seasons are national holidays.
You find 98 degrees "a little warm," and 60 degrees downright freezing.
You think the only seasons are hot, damn hot, and winter.
You know if another person is from out of town the second he or she walks in the door.
"Overachievers" go to A&M or UT. The rest must choose from Hardin-Simmons, ACU, McMurry, or Cisco Junior College.
You've had several friends move off and move back within a couple of months.
You have a friend that lives near a pumpjack.
The West Texas Fair and Rodeo is the major event for the whole year.
The town mascot is a B-1 Bomber.
Honeymoon means "San Antonio."
You actually get these jokes and pass them on to other friends from Abilene.